Relationship Trend: Ghosting
Posted On Mar 31, 2016
A haunting relationship trend hitting the headlines is “ghosting” and it entails cutting off all communication, without any explanation. You’ve ghosted, you’ve been ghosted, we all have been bamboozled, dropped like a sack of potatoes, left out to dry, been taken out like the morning garbage, only now there is a cutesy term for it.
At first glance of the new sociological phenomena, I thought to myself, ‘Shoot, I’ve ghosted a few in my time.” I then pondered the situations where I grew out of some toxic friendships, went on a cringe-worthy blind date or two, and then trailed off into the sunset without looking back.
This is not ghosting.
Ghosting is when you are either dating or in a committed relationship and it ends with the ultimate silent treatment…
No call backs
No text backs
Defriended on FB… the works.
Basically, it’s a trendy way of saying you avoid the confrontation of breaking up with someone or in terms of a friendship, avoiding the confrontation of letting go of a friend.
A recent survey from Elle.com shows that 26 percent of women and 33 percent of men have both ghosted and been ghosted, while 24 percent of women and 17 percent of men admit to ghosting (but not being ghosted on).
Leading research also reports the importance of distinguishing the “ghosting” phenomenon from escaping an unsafe or abusive relationship. ‘You have every right to escape the latter without further communication, in whatever way keeps you physically and emotionally safe. However, if your motivation for disappearing is avoidance, then you might want to consider a better way to break up.’
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that ghosting (a.k.a. avoidance) is the worst way to end a relationship. But research does show that avoiding contact with your ex-partner without an explanation actually may lead to bigger confrontations down the line and other destructive behaviors.
The only problem ghosting solves is quick, short-term selfishness. I do love the term though, because people who “ghost” are scary.
This is what your dude looks like running into him at the bar after he stopped answering your calls and texts.
Cover Photo: Universal Pictures “Casper”