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The Style ‘Scopes of May 2016

By Andrew Stone
Posted On May 02, 2016
The Style ‘Scopes of May 2016

Need a lift in terms of fashion sense as well as interpersonal connections? Take a trip on the Starlight Express with us, won’t you?

Alright, you darling buds… May is here, and we can be glad about that. Got your arms, elbows, knees, and cleavage ready to show off? (And by “ready,” we mean: by your own standards, not those of the tired, old corporate monster of oppressive, unrealistic expectations.)

Ready or not, here come warmer temperatures, as well as a spicy set of astrological aspects that are likely to come up roses for most, if not all, of you by month’s end. We start in deep Taurus, the formidable Bulls who are not about to be led astray by trifling ne’er-do-wellers nor forget who they are at their core. Remember that as you hit the closet or makeup counters. You, at the root — that’s the idol whose poster most belongs over your bed. On 5/21, Taurus acquiesces to charming Twinzies, Gemini, meaning the time to mingle will be upon us. Gems are masters of communication, and so let “the benevolent exchange of energy” inform your clothes, makeup, hairstyles… maybe even a head-turning new cut and color.

May Taurus women tell a tale of clear perspectives, strength, and virtuosic individuality. You’re not about to mistake these women for one of the masses, nor will you catch them trying too hard to be something they’re not. They know what works for them — in style and as people — so that energy will make you feel right, from your head to your Loubies.

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Splash News

As for celebs, we have Princess Charlotte turning one on 5/2, same birthday as Lily Allen, Ellie Kemper, and Donatella Versace. Cheryl Burke and Christina Hendricks (5/3), Erin Andrews and Kimora Lee Simmons (5/4), and fierceness-personified Adele (5/5) comes next. The gorge Adrienne Palicki is the 6th, and Eva Peron would be the 7th, so stride to the balcony in a goddamn ball gown and address your public.

We are forever in awe of Rosario Dawson (5/9), Martha Graham (RIP, 5/11), and 5/12 sisters Catherine Tate, Malin Ackerman, and dearly-departed Florence Nightingale and Katharine Hepburn. Lena Dunham (5/13), Cate Blanchett (5/14), and 5/16 trio Behati Prinsloo, Megan Fox, and Janet Jackson display a spectrum of irresistibility. And need we say more about Tina Fey (5/18) and Grace Jones (5/19)? Love from and for these Taureans is a many splendored thing.

Style takeaways: Classic takes on dressing — be it a Donatella gown, a Hepburn pantsuit, a strong red lip like Fox, or a few well-placed straps like Jones — will leave your public panting for more.

The May Gemini ladies are a saucy bunch. Think: Cher (5/20), Naomi Campbell and Ginnifer Goodwin (5/22), Lea DeLaria and Joan Collins (5/23), and the 5/26 crew that includes Lauryn Hill, Helena Bonham Carter, and Stevie Nicks. 5/28 has Kylie Minogue and Gladys Knight. LaToya Jackson and Mel. B. are 5/29. 5/30 is the big day for Idina Menzel, Wynonna Judd, and Marissa Meyer. The month ends with Brooke Shields, Azealia Banks, and Lea Thompson (5/31). Blam. Gemini ladies are sexier than they oughtta be, so fiercely unique that they can’t help but attract attention, and could sell a Frigidaire to a polar bear.

Try on a Stevie scarf, Wynonna studded jacket, or Kylie showgirl outfit for size. It’ll be “very you” as May concludes.

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Splash News

The Men: Taurus guys really know their value. They also really look, act, smell, and carry on like true dudes. Maybe don some easy jeans-and-tee looks, but bust out at least one of two “boss man/baller” outfits by the second week of May (to keep them guessing). Taurus men go like this: Jamie Dornan (5/1); Dwayne Johnson and David Beckham (5/2); Will Arnett and Shameik Moore (5/4); Henry Cavill (5/5); George Clooney (5/6); Enrique Iglesias and Nyle DiMarco (5/8); Bono (5/10); Tony Hawk (5/12); Robert Pattinson, Stephen Colbert, and Hunter Parrish (5/13); Mark Zuckerberg (5/14); Derek Hough (5/17); Jack Johnson (5/18); and Sam Smith (5/19). Big cheeses! Leading men! Put on your dance shoes or sing a few scales and show the rest of the world what the heck you were put here for. That goes for Tauruses, and all those looking to dovetail on the energy that rules the first few weeks of May.

May Gemini men are big-swinging charm sticks who want to communicate with you on all levels… Be it whispers in your ear, solar plexus-to-solar plexus energy, or simply a great catch up over coffee that leaves you saying, “Oh yeah, right… I love other people!” And some of our faves are: The Notorious B.I.G. (RIP) and Mr. T. (5/21); Morrissey (5/22); Maxwell (5/23); Lenny Kravitz and Miles Davis (RIP Miles, 5/26); Carmelo Anthony and his dearly departed birthday-mate, President John Fitzgerald Kennedy (5/29); CeeLo Green (5/30); and 5/31 babies Colin Ferrell and the late, great Walt Whitman. Dress to be seen and heard, if you want to make like a Gemini man. Make like the dazzling Gemini chameleon, capable of rascally wildness and corner-office realness all in the same breath.

And now: An optimist’s summation of the retrogrades we now have on our plate.

If you have been feeling a touch “WTF?” lately, fret not. A pesky pack of planets (five in total) find themselves in retrograde at the start of May 2016 — including the classic retrograde culprit, Mercury, as well as hothead Mars, order-bringer Saturn, control-seeker Pluto (who will reward inspired action over Candy Crush), and Jupiter, who deals with fulfillment, changes in fortune, and clarity of purpose on a soul level. Before you run off the balcony, remember that what goes up must come down… or rather, what shifts into reverse will sooner or later go forward again. And when it does, you’ll feel all the better for the current state of affairs.

There is an opportunity in every planetary aspect out there, retrogrades and all, so rather than charging ahead you may want to do some extra consultations with your gut. If you feel that your efforts have been all “one step forward, two steps back,” do your Lamaze breathing and know that relief is cascading your way, no matter what your sign. Jupiter goes direct on 5/9, meaning you have a rare perspective about yourself. Was it painful to feel cut off from your deeper purpose? What nerves were jangled as you called into question the overall direction of your very personal universe (the center of which actually is you)? Grab hold of what you value and put that on the top of a brand new vision board.

Now, Mercury stays retro until 5/22, but that doesn’t mean most of May is lost. Just build an extra timely case of delays or glitches and (here’s the cherry on this sundae) find lots of sweet secrets in bonds from the past. Revisit old friendships. Re-read old letters and call those trusty companions who never fail you. Consider voyages to locales that are associated with joyful, far-back memories. And once Mercury goes forward again, joined by charming Gemini at the top of the Solar chart, we can all expect some awesome springtime surprises and perhaps a sense of ease.

Now, Mars won’t be direct until 8/2, so just remember to earmark your plans, strategize for your next big moves, and trust that wind will return to your sails in a short while. For now, make your plans fool proof and water those gardens in your mind. Saturn is retro until 8/13, making your path towards wherever feels extra “long and winding.” But as Lennon said, “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans,” so explore those craggy twists along the path. (Often the most beautiful flowers grow deep in the glen.)