What Your Shoes Say About You
Posted On Nov 01, 2017
How many times have we donned a pair of flip flops for a vegetative state at home and then a pair of bling high heels for some serious sexy moves later that night? Our shoes speak to our complicated personalities and don’t think others don’t know that. In a study done by the University of Kansas and Wellesley College, published in the Journal of Research in Personality, researchers found that people could accurately assess another person’s level of attachment anxiety based on their choice of shoes. Whether you are the “life of the party” or someone who is uncomfortable sharing their feelings, your shoes surprisingly reflect those emotions. So imagine our delight when we came across a beautifully illustrated book, “Be The Shoe,” by author and Hollywood stylist turned life coach, Kathy Kelada. Flipping through the book, we quickly fell in love. It is as addictive as scanning through your horoscope. For example, our mules tell us we have lots of girlfriends and love to throw a party, while our loafers tell us we love the beauty of order and are detail driven – what a fun subject to share on a girl’s night out. Here, Kathy offers her insight behind this delightfully entertaining book.
Why do you think our shoes speak to our personality?
Our shoe size is the one thing about us that doesn’t really change throughout our adult life. Yes, we may go up or down a half size, but basically, a size five will never be a size 9! We can count on that and it’s a constant. We may go up or down in our dress size, we may go through personal changes in our lives, etc… but we can look down and be reassured that we still recognize ourselves. So, we use our shoes as an outer reflection of the inner us.
Now that you’re the boss, you may spend your days in high-heeled pumps, making decisions and being a force of nature, or maybe you’re living in running shoes, taking care of the kids and meeting everyone’s needs. These shoes reflect the life we’re living day-to-day. In “Be The Shoe,” I help lead you to your true shoe and give you tips on how to step into that shoe and live a fuller, more purposeful life.
Do you think we unconsciously tap into our different personalities when wearing the different styles of shoes?
Yes, I think different styles of shoes can help us tap into different parts of ourselves. Often women will say, “I’m going to this thing and I need the RIGHT shoes!” When you read through the descriptions of the different shoes in the book, you see that each one reacts differently to aspects of their lives like relationships, personal finances, fashion choices, and in the workplace. You wouldn’t wear a pair of flip flops to a business meeting, but you also wouldn’t wear a pair of loafers to the beach!
What was the most surprising thing you learned while researching for this book?
I loved that women everywhere just got the concept from the very beginning. I didn’t have to go into a lengthy explanation, I’d just say, “If you were a shoe, what shoe would you be?” and they’d give me their answer.
Women identify with this metaphor because we use shoes to express, empower, underplay, overplay, and explicitly illustrate who we are! I’ve talked about the book to women all over the world and I’m always surprised that they just understand it and have an answer.
From an actress to Hollywood stylist to life coach – what have been the most valuable lessons learned?
I think the common thread through all my work has been personal transformation. Whether it’s reaching someone through a role or helping them express themselves through their style, or guiding them to a deeper understanding of who they are and where they want to go, transformation is the goal and the work. I like to think of the process as becoming a better version of who we truly are. With each phase of our lives, we refine our message, our goals, our vision, and become the very best version of ourselves.
Do you have a fun story about one of your celebrity clients that you could share?
I never talk about specific clients as a rule but with all my clients, I try to move people out of their comfort zone and push them to try something new. That can have really interesting results. I took a client to a shoe store one day to get shoes for a specific outfit and somehow we started assembling all the styles of shoes in the book. She proceeded to put each pair on and gave herself the personality of each shoe and it ended up being a one-woman show! I loved seeing all the shoes come to life and affirm that putting on a new shoe can really help you find your shoe!
What would you like for people to take away after reading this book?
I was inspired to write this book because I wanted a book that women would share with their friends and use as a new way to talk about themselves. This is a language that women already speak! I wanted it to be informative, beautiful, and fun. Share it over lunch, book group, cocktails, etc.
Ultimately, after reading the book if you’re happy with the shoe you are, step into it and Be The Shoe. If you’re not, change it and find a new shoe!
Be the shoe you want to be and live the life of your dreams!