Your Guide to Kim Kardashian’s New Emojis
Posted On Dec 21, 2015
As if being on all of our social feeds all of the time wasn’t enough, Kim Kardashian will now be available in emoji form. Kim K is launching her own Kardashian-themed app today called Kimoji.
From her teaser on Instagram yesterday we see a range of beauty products and Kim inspired pop culture, such as her crying face and her large derriere.
What on earth would we use these emoji’s for you may ask? Here is your guide to the Kimojis.
Kim Crying Face Emoji
When the standard crying emoji just isn’t enough to display the intense amount of emotion you are trying to communicate. Say you lose your diamond engagement ring when jumping off a boat on vacation or you got married and then divorced in 2 weeks. Or something devastating like if your boyfriend just doesn’t understand why you NEED pizza and wine in massive amounts.
Middle Finger Emoji
Although Apple just gave us a middle finger emoji, this one is for when you are being a sassy cold betch. You need the receiver of this emoji to realize, based on the HUGE rock on your finger, that you are a princess and don’t deserve to be treated/talked to that way. You can quickly replace them with someone who treats you like the diva that you are.
Pregnant Kim Emoji
Since most of us aren’t pregnant all that often I am dubbing this emoji the food baby emoji. After a burrito the size of your face or a little too much at the buffet-style brunch, this emoji can explain exactly how you feel without that tired grumbling noise. I often times feel like the fat whale-sized prego Kim K post eating so now instead of blowing people off when a power nap is needed you can just send this emoji and be done with it. “Sry, Pregnant Kim Emoji, Sleepy Z emoji’s.”
Three Girls Twerking Emoji
When you need a night out with your girls to shake your butt, say no more, the twerk emoji is finally here. Also great for squad picture captions, accompanied by #SQUAA.
Too drunk to text? Just send the LIT speech bubble and you’re good. Is this the answer to drunk texting? Probably not but it’s a start. Thanks, Kim.
Black Nail Painting Emoji
Finally, a nail painting emoji for all the girls who hate pink. This black nail polish and longer coffin shape is perfect for the un-basic glamor goddesses of the world. Getting a manicure and can’t text, just send this emoji and they should understand that it’s glam time.
Kim on Stripper Pole Emoji
Feeling a little frisky? Send this to your significant other when you want them to know to be ready with the candles and the Weekend album playing by the time you get home. Or if you are taking a pole dancing class this would also be relevant.
Waist Trainer Emoji
When you are watching your weight and your friends want to go to Taco Tuesday. Just send them this. Waist trainers and margaritas don’t mix, everybody knows that.
When you are in the middle of a selfie sesh, you are short on time, and your boyfriend or your group chat is blowing you up. If you want to be nice and not ignore them, just send them this with the clock emoji and they will know what time it is, selfie time of course.
Black Heart Emoji
This is really what we’ve all been waiting for. An emoji that sums up our soul: dark black. We can finally accent all of our dark clothed and themed pictures. No more of that cutesy double pink heart BS. The black heart is here and ready to distinguish the Rihanna’s of the world from the Taylor Swifts’.
These are just some of the new Kimojis. There are others thats usefulness is foreign to me, but I’m sure somebody somewhere will need a hair dryer emoji or the butt spilled with champagne that broke the internet emoji.
What we are missing though, is the Kanye Shrug Emoji. Maybe in the next update?