The Downfall of Staying Friends with Your Ex’s Family
Posted On Jun 03, 2016
The ending of a relationship is always a rough situation. When you are genuinely in love with someone you become attached to their likings, surroundings, family, and friends. When it is over, do you maintain contact with his mom because you formed a bond with her throughout your courtship? Continue to hang out with his sister who you befriended? What about his friends? Do you run the opposite direction when you see them or act cordial in passing?
These are legitimate questions but in all honesty, to move forward you must detach yourself from family and mutual friends. Moving on requires both of you to receive support from your own family and friends, not vice versa.
Another issue that arises after a breakup is social media. Being that we live in an age where relationship milestones are categorized by Facebook updates, social media outlets have become more of an emotional rollercoaster when dealing with an already hurtful situation.
As a result, staying friends with your ex’s friends and family as opposed to defriending them is like pouring salt into an open wound. Unless it was an amicable breakup or you can tolerate seeing the new mate plastered all over their social media pages, is it worth the constant self-torture and anguish? Usually, family and true friends stick together as there is a very fine line between loyalties.
I am not saying that you should roll your eyes when you see their family, give their friends the silent treatment in public or as Kanye says best, no need to be “sittin’ here, grillin people like George Foreman.” Instead, why not kill them with kindness? At least, that’s what my mama taught me anyway.
On the other hand, if you feel the need to remain close knit with his people it may be time to do some soul searching. If you are only holding on in hopes of getting back with your ex-lover by trying to sustain a constant presence in his personal life, then your motives for staying in touch are NOT sincere. Ultimately, there really isn’t a reason to keep these relationships alive as they are not serving you an ounce of justice. Instead, it is only hindering you from finding “the one.”