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Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

By Ruchel Louis Coetzee
Posted On Jan 28, 2016
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
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You’re in a healthy loving relationship and life is beautiful most of the time, it is just not happily ever after. Why not? Well, as a child, you are sold a bill of goods that your Prince Charming will not only love and adore you forever but will also treat you like a Queen with much laughter in your world.  That dream carries you through each and every relationship until you eventually find your Prince Charming. It is at this time when you become alive with hope and happiness.  All goes well in your kingdom, that is, until he forgets to clear his plate from the table or he uses your kitchen knife to tinker under the hood of his car. When that happens, you should try and prevent resurrecting your wicked witch persona. If you hop onto your broom too often, your sweet charming nature will gradually become tarnished.   So here are a few tips to help you through those moments of frustration.

  1. Before reacting take a deep breath and count to ten. It gives you time to think of a less acerbic response to the situation.
  2. If he forgets, for example, to clear his plate from the table, ask nicely the first time, and after the third or fourth time, bring it up for discussion when you are both relaxed doing something completely different.
  3. Accept that some actions will never change and that those battles are never won – for example, leaving the toilet seat up or down.
  4. Communication in a calm reasonable tone is always more effective in helping to change behaviors. Yes, sometimes it is really hard to adopt that reasonable tone, especially when the culprit is caught in the act, so during those times, sigh really loud, then leave the room or occupy yourself with some other task. Guilt is a great lesson.
  5. Make a list of his good and bad traits. If the good still outweighs the bad by a large majority then continue the communication during calm relaxed moments.
  6. Never highlight bad behavior in front of family or friends. It does not earn you any brownie points and actually makes you less trustworthy in your partner’s eyes.
  7. Nagging is a death knell for any relationship. Instead apply post-it notes with smiley faces on mirrors or fridges to make fun of irritating behaviors.
  8. Above all show kindness, it goes a long way in cementing a strong relationship.