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Can Exes Remain Friends After a Breakup?

By Dontaira Terrell
Posted On Apr 01, 2016
Can Exes Remain Friends After a Breakup?

The ending of a relationship is always a rough situation. When you are genuinely with someone you become attached to their likings, surroundings, family, and friends. When it’s over, do you maintain contact with his mom because you formed a bond with her throughout your courtship or still hang out with his sister who you befriended? What about his friends, do you run the opposite direction when you see them or act cordial in passing? These are all legitimate questions but in all honesty, in order to move forward you must detach yourself from family and mutual friends. Moving on requires both of you to each receive support from your own family and friends, not vice versa.

Another issue that arises after a breakup is social media. Being that we live in an age where relationship milestones are categorized by Facebook updates, social media outlets have become more of an emotional rollercoaster when dealing with an already hurtful situation. As a result, staying friends with your ex’s friends and family as opposed to defriending them is similar to pouring salt into an open wound. Unless it was an amicable breakup or you can tolerate seeing the new mate plastered all over their social media pages, is it worth the constant self-torture and anguish? Usually, family and true friends stick together as there is a very fine line between loyalties.

I am not saying you should roll your eyes when you see their family, give their friends the silent treatment in public, or as Kanye says, no need to be “sittin’ here grillin people like George Foreman.” Instead, why not kill em’ with kindness? At least, that’s what my mama taught me anyway. On the other hand, if you feel the need to remain close knit with his people, it may be time to do some soul searching. If you’re holding on in hopes of getting back with your ex-lover by trying to sustain a constant presence in his personal life, then your motives for staying in touch aren’t sincere. Ultimately, there isn’t a reason to keep these relationships alive as they aren’t serving you any justice, only hindering you from finding “the one.”