My 5 Life Lessons on Becoming the Unstoppable YOU
By: Lauren Ruotolo
Imagine, at the age of 5, you made a decision that would change your entire life. Well, I did and have been leaning into it every single day for decades. I decided that my disability would not stop me from living my best life. I chose to stand up and walk when everyone told me it could not be done. Since then, I’ve led a life showing the world that I am unstoppable no matter what circumstances come my way.
I was recently reminded when I was on Anne Heche’s podcast, Better Together with Anne & Heather, of the importance of this conversation and that we can all learn from one another to generate more kindness and open-minded thinking in this world. Something we need now more than ever.
Below are five ways to fuel your heart and mind to become unstoppable today.
1. People with disabilities are naturally innovative. Having an unforeseen circumstance with the right attitude can often lead to creative problem-solving. For example, I’m 4’2, walk with crutches, and couldn’t wear fashionable shoes that fit, so I created a shoe line for women with extreme sizes (3-13). Think about this special skill of innovation and problem-solving if you are ever considering hiring someone with a disability.
2. Accept your limitations, but also recognize your strengths. By accepting yourself and your limits, you will find your true self and be able to lean into your strengths. For example, I didn’t 100% accept myself as a woman with a disability until I was in my late 20s, working in magazine publishing, and editors started saying wow, you’re incredible even though you have challenges. I never thought of it as a challenge but as just Lauren. This new way of thought led me to my first article in Marie Claire magazine, where I posed as Lauren, the incredible 4’2 disabled woman who only wears stilettos. I discussed how I tackled my weakness and grew into a woman who would never take no for an answer. From that opportunity, I realized the importance of recognizing my limitations but also acknowledging my strengths.
3. Don’t assume limitations or make snap judgments. Don’t ever assume or judge how someone feels, how they look, or what their limits are. I can still do physical activities, so don’t exclude me from an event because you think I can’t do it. Let me decide that. Don’t assume things about someone who looks different, don’t stare or ask some odd question that makes a person uncomfortable. Just say hi, compliment them on what they are wearing, their hair, their lipstick — better yet, start a conversation where you take 5 minutes to get to know them. It’s a known fact that the average person makes a snap judgment based appearance, but if you give a person 5 minutes to say hi and get to know them, you will stop judging and maybe even find a friend, soulmate, or your new bestie. Trust me. You will be surprised how fast what you assumed will automatically be deleted from your mind.
4. Find your gifts! What challenges you most is your most significant gift because it gives you the strength you need to move forward and show the world how incredible you are. I now tell the world that my disability and my voice are my biggest assets because they have allowed me to shape a path that was needed for me and to help others like me. Being disabled and staying positive is my unique talent.
5. Don’t hide, be seen! Have you ever hidden who you are and what you look like because you’re afraid to be judged and/or not accepted? Well, I did for almost three decades. I tried to hide my crutches and height when I wanted to date because I felt boys (and eventually men) wouldn’t want to date me. While many won’t because they are the ones afraid to be judged, I’ve risen above it and now show all of me because hiding is pointless. Why would you even want to be with someone who does not accept you for who you truly are? Putting your whole self out there from head to toe means you are genuinely proud of who you are. So BE YOU, and THE RIGHT PERSON will come!
Lauren Ruotolo is the author of Unstoppable in Stilettos. She has had a distinguished career in marketing with expertise in multiple industries, including fashion and music. She is the owner and designer of Unstoppable Shoes and the recipient of numerous achievement awards in marketing and female empowerment. Lauren is an advocate for women and the disabled and a spokesperson for those living with rare diseases or disabilities. After her many achievements, she now seeks to inspire others to overcome any obstacles they may face to become their best selves.
